Everyone who adopts hopes that their family and friends will be positive and supportive but unfortunately that is not always what ends up happening. There are all too often people around us who have little or limited understanding of adoption and it’s unique challenges and they always seem to be very vocal about it to the new parents.

In my own personal experience some of the comments from perhaps (ok giving the benefit of the doubt here) well meaning but not especially well informed people have included the following and ok the blurps that follow are things I might have said or would have liked too but may not have had the opportunity (you decide which is which).

“So how long before IT is officially yours?” Lovely, not to mention the fact that my daughter is most defiantly NOT an “It.”

“Well you know you are going to have problems.” Well, DUH , what parent doesn’t?

“So why do you have to visit them (as in birthfamily)?” In my opinion it could be no worse that visiting with YOU.

“Are you going to tell him he is adopted?” Our son is African American, we are white, something assures me that he is going to find out.

“So why did you adopt a black child this time?” (Ok I really said this one!) Well they were fresh out of white children. Hey a dumb question deserves a dumber answer, right?

And my all time fav (well not really fav, just one of the worst). . .

“How could anyone give away such a beautiful baby?” Well hey I guess adoption is not just for the ugly anymore. (Yup I said that one as well).

Sarcasm can come in handy, but I know that it is not always the best way to handle the situation. Some of the mentioned replies only bounced around my head while I was more inclined to offer an educational comment to the offending person. That is the more mature way to respond, but hey not always as much fun. Eventually one hopes that those around you will begin to “get” adoption or at least come to a less offensive place in their understanding.