Have you ever noticed if your grief is worse at night? For me personally, my grief does get worse at night. Night is the time I end up having my breakdowns and crying and I’ve heard other birthmothers say that the nights are difficult for them as well.

So, why are nights more difficult at times?
I think that during the day it is easier to keep ourselves busy and that often we just get caught up in the everyday busyness of our lives. We have jobs, friends, family, possibly other children, school, etc. to keep us pretty busy and that doesn’t give us a whole lot of time to just sit and think about or deal with our grief.

But at night time when all is quiet and dark, the grief creeps back, hits hard, and is inescapable. Late at night, you typically can’t just pick up the phone and call a friend for support. You don’t have the same coping options at night as you during the day so that makes dealing with the grief more difficult.

Sleeping may become more difficult. I never had any problems with sleeping or insomnia until after Charlie was born. Those first nights after relinquishment were excruciating. My hubby (fiancé at the time) worked nights so I didn’t even have him there for comfort.

What should you do at night when the grief hits you hard and most of the world is in bed asleep?

• Let it out. Go ahead and cry. It’s better to express your emotions than to hold them inside and sometimes tears are cleansing and you may feel better after a good cry.



• Get online and visit the forums. They are up and running 24/7 and you can read others’ thoughts as well as your own.



• Write about it. Grab your journal and write about how you are feeling at that very moment.

If it seems like you are grieving so much at night, that you can not get an adequate amount of sleep, talk with your doctor about possibly getting something to help you rest.

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Related Posts:
Grief Will Not Win!
Coping with Grief