I usually think of the elderly as kind, gentle spirits, and most of them certainly are, but today I received a little reminder that sometimes an old mind can be a catacomb for old ideas, perceptions and hate from the past. Our family had a subtle, yet no less hurtful, racist encounter this afternoon thanks to a seemingly harmless elderly couple.

Today, after dropping off our oldest for a visit with her grandparents, my husband and I took our younger two out for a treat of ice cream in our small (and often backwards) midwest town. As we went into the place I noticed an elderly couple enter right ahead of us. They sat down a few seats away, but the glare they began giving us was already making the ice cream, we had not even ordered yet, melt.

Poor little Carson was asleep on his dad’s shoulder, the trip of a few miles to town was just enough time for him to drift off into napping. We all ordered, and then my husband handed our son to me while he took Cierra to the restroom. About this time my son woke up and must have looked right at the fuming old folks behind us, and they proceeded to get up and stomp out of the place slamming the door loudly on the way out.

I admit I never get used to this stuff, and I was livid. Even the other families at tables around us (this is a tiny restaurant) looked at me with sympathetic eyes, the angry walk out of the grumpy old pair was not lost on them either. I suppose I could be glad my son is to small to understand the bald-faced racism displayed by this old couple, but then I remind myself that he will be old enough to understand all to soon.

On days like today I take some small level of comfort in knowing I am with my son to shield him from the nastiness of the world, even sweet, elderly, grandparent looking types. I realize that is kind of a lame view for me to take though, but right now, some days, I can do little else. I know that as my son gets older, and when he is not with us and afforded some minuscule amount of human dignity, even if it is hiding behind the veil of our white privilege, things will be increasingly difficult for him.

Unfortunately old ways, old ideas, and old hate continue to thrive and are handed down from people like those our family encountered today to their own children, and their children, and so on and so on. I really hope that this is one “heirloom” this couple’s future generations will decide not to preserve and continue to pass on.

Just A Multicultural Mommy

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