Unfortunately, even with the most open adoptions sometimes you may not be able to be with your child on his or her actual birthday. So how can you honor your child while not being present with him or her?

I’m sure most of you do this anyways, but send a card and a gift. Now if you will be seeing your child a few days after his or her actual birthday then mailing the gift would be silly as you’d probably prefer to give it to your child in person and see him or her open it but you could still mail a card for him or her to have on the actual birthday and just because most kids love mail! I see Charlie on his actual birthday but still usually send him a card in the mail!

Bake a cake or cupcakes or go by a slice of cake at the grocery store and eat it in honor of your child, celebrating his or her birthday. Even light a candle and blow it out making a wish for your child. Take a picture of yourself with the cake and either save the pictures for when your child is older or send one to your child after his or her birthday showing him or her that even though you were not together you were still celebrating!

In this technological era, with the help of your child’s adoptive parents, you could still feel like you were there even if you are not able to be there. If your child’s family has a web cam, perhaps you could set up a little virtual visit and watch your child open the gift you sent or eat a piece of cake. Or if your child’s family has a digital camera, they could take lots of snapshots of your child opening gifts or eating cake and then email them to you.

Some suggestions of ways to honor your child from other birthmothers include:

• Light a candle and say a prayer in honor of your child. (by D)



• Write your child a birthday letter reflecting on the past year. (by M)



• Buy a cake, balloons, and celebrate with friends. (by K)



• Sing happy birthday out loud to your child at the time he or she was born. (by T)

So, what do you do to honor your child on his or her birthday??

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Other Posts about Birthdays:
The Emotional Side of Birthdays
A Trip Down Birthday Memory Lane
Birthday Party Tips

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