Sometimes in open adoptions, you may loose contact or have a lapse in contact with the other party. Perhaps you used to talk every few weeks and it’s been way more than a few weeks since you last talked.

A lapse in contact could occur for different reasons. It could simply be because life gets hectic. Families, careers, school, etc. can sometimes get in the way of even the best of intentions. Possibly it could be that the others involved are going through an emotional time and just hasn’t found the strength to pick up the phone and call as they used to. Or perhaps something was said or something has happened and you have hit a bump in the road in your relationship.

It’s not good when contact lapses, but it is reality and something that happens. But at some point, you may decide, enough is enough, and will want to re-establish contact. It might feel a little intimidating, especially if it is due to a problem, but you probably will not regret reaching out and letting the other person know they are missed.

If you are comfortable enough and you used to do a lot of communicating via the telephone, then just pick up the phone and call. Don’t call during a hectic time of day, like dinner time and ask the person if he/she has a minute to talk before diving in. Then just be honest and let them know that you have noticed that there has been a lapse in contact and that it’s been noticed and missed.

I know sometimes when things are super busy around here it will be a few weeks before A. and I are able to talk and it seems a little odd at first, because it’s been so long since we talked and there is so much to catch up on. But after a few minutes, we are old friends again chit-chatting away.

If you are not a phone person or that just seems too intimidating, then you could try emailing the person and letting them know that you haven’t heard from them in awhile and that you are checking on them.
So, if you have had a lapse in contact, go ahead and try to re-establish contact. It’s never too late.

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