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Life gets busy. We all know that. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle of every day lives with work, family, friends, home life, church, other activities, and so much more. Sometimes I feel like I barely have five minutes to myself during the day and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Given the hectic schedule of life, sometimes a bit of time will pass before I hear from Charlie and his family. When Charlie was still young and we were in the beginning stages of our open adoption relationship and time passed before I heard from them, I’d start to get anxious. A million thoughts would run through my head…. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I forget to do something? Are they alive? Is Charlie sick? And the list goes on and on. When I worry, my imagination starts to get active dreaming up a million different scenarios.
In the beginning stages of our open adoption, I was scared to be the one to pick up the phone and call them. I feared I might be bugging them, intruding, or something like that. Turns out, A was also fearful that she might be intruding on my space or that if I was having an emotional day, hearing from her might make me more upset.
So my point is that you should try and set up some boundaries in your open adoption so that you are not intruding or feel like you are intruding on the others involved. If you are super busy and don’t have time for lengthy communication or visits, then just drop the other person an email, text, IM, leave them a voice mail, etc. letting them know that everything is ok and things are just hectic at the moment.
It’s a busy world – they’ll understand.
Ronald Steven Federici is often described as “the country’s expert in the neuropsychological evaluation and treatment of children having multi-sensory neurodevelopmental impairments.”
He is best described as a “developmental neuropsychologist,” specializing in the treatment of “institutional autism” (which he also calls “post-traumatic autism,” or “post-institutional autistic syndrome”).
Dr. Federici is licensed by the Virginia Board, and is the holder of a Psy. D. degree.
Dr. Ronald Federici is the author of “Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families, With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child” and is the founder of Neuropsychological and Family Practice Associates, in McLean, Virginia.
He has worked with adopted children from Russia, Romania, Ukraine and Belarus. He is also the father to seven adopted children of his own.
Federici is also an outspoken opponent of dangerous practices, such as those resulting in the death of Candace Newmaker. In addition, he has also sought to provide as much assistance as possible to children living in orphanages and other institutions with deplorable conditions.
More information about Dr. Federici and his work can be found at:
http://ronaldfederici.wordpress.com (Ronald Federici blog)
http://ronfederici.wordpress.com (Ron Federici blog)
http://childrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Children in Therapy)
http://advocatesforchildrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Advocates for Children in Therapy)
http://angelinajolieadoptions.wordpress.com (Angelina Jolie’s adoptions; Dr. Federici is Angelina Jolie’s adoption consultant)