In a recent post, I talked about some negative comments that a friend made. In a comment on that same post, Jenna made me think about how there are times that you may realize that you no longer want to continue a friendship with someone who is unsupportive.

It’s sad but not everyone in your life is going to be supportive or understand your thoughts and feelings related to adoption. Sometimes it won’t be an issue or it might not bother you too much but other time, when comments are made or when feelings are purposely overlooked, you may decide it has become too much and you may decide that you need to break off friendships or put some distance between you and your “friend.”


I really believe that true friends are going to try their best to be supportive even if they don’t totally get it or understand what you are going through. And those who don’t try or are totally unsupportive weren’t true friends in the first place.

Through adoption and who was supportive of me, I learned the hard way who my real friends were. There were many people I worked with when I was pregnant that I considered friends but shortly after placing Charlie for adoption, I realized that they were very unsupportive and that they weren’t true friends. I distanced myself from them maintaining a working relationship only at that point. Once I left that job and the area, I no longer stayed in contact with any of them and that’s been ok with me. I wasn’t headed in the same direction as those people any longer, I was a different person, and my priorities had changed and we would have grown a part at some point anyways.

Although this post has talked about those who didn’t support me very well, I do have to add and acknowledge that I did have some amazing friends who were really there for me before, during, and after Charlie’s birth and relinquishment. I couldn’t have made it through all of this without their love and support.


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Related Posts:
She Didn’t Hear Me
Support Network: Old Friends


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