Continued from Part Two

The transracial couple I knew of did everything to prepare for the possibility of adopting and very quickly, so what went wrong? Well suddenly after the birth of the baby they were told that the mother had changed her mind about placement and would be parenting. They were disappointed, but that happens and they understood. It was only later when speaking to the mutual friend (the one who was going to be the foster parent during the TPR) and I learned the baby simply went to another foster placement in another part of the state because the agency had matched the birthmother with a white family (she had requested black or transracial). Turns out the white family was signed with (and paying more to adopt) through the agency than my friends would have not being signed with them and working independently. To me the scam occurred here when they adoption agency told a lie to my hopeful adoptive friends, simply because they finally found a family they could get the mother to accept who was signed with them and would bring them the larger profit from the adoption. Again, I would love to tell you what agency, they are still in business, but that is not the purpose of my post.

The purpose behind my bringing this up is that you can never be too careful, scams happen even with licensed adoption professionals, they just have found creative ways to hide what they might be doing.

Most adoption agencies are truly trying to do an ethical job, as are many referral services. Our family went on to find another referral service who helped us find and adopt our son and we could not have been more pleased with they way in which they handled everything. I also have friends who have adopted with the other adoption agency in question and had no troubles. The thing is everyone should be able to receive that same courtesy. In both situations I mentioned I believe that those seeking to adopt, as well as potentially the birthmothers involved were scammed through being presented untruths and through lies of omission. We were scammed because we were not simply told that the referral service was entitled to first match with a birthmother under any contract they had signed with the adoption agency. They may have scammed that birthmother letting her (and the agency) believe that we had backed out of a match when we did not. That was to serve their own purposes and not those of the placing and adopting parties. My transracial adopting friends were scammed because the agency led them to believe that they sought an independent placement because they had no waiting families and then lied through omission when they later located a family that was signed with their agency. They stood to profit more if that match occurred even thought it was not the type of family that the mother had specified. That mother might have been scammed herself as she may have been told that no families that met her desires were waiting to adopt her child when in fact there were and the agency knew of them.

Scams are out there, both those adopting and even those placing have to be very cautious. Adoption agencies and referral services are not immune to poor practices, untruths or down right scams at times, so be wary. Knowing who you are working with and checking your facts with everyone involved all through your process might not spare you a situation like those I mentioned, but it certainly will go a long way toward lessening the chances of it happening.