Continuing from my last post in sharing the story of Patty, an adoptee and an adoptive mother

After Patty married her husband, they began trying to conceive but were unsuccessful trying to conceive naturally so they turned to in vitro fertilization. When their IVF attempts failed, Patty became very depressed.

“Because I was adopted, I felt an even stronger desire to want a biological child, to have someone look like me, and to be connected to someone biologically. I went through A LOT of grieving being infertile and it was a very dark time for me. I began seeing a Christian Therapist and got on an anti-depressant and just let myself grieve and things started to get better and I got through it.”

After that grieving period, Patty and her husband turned to adoption as a means to build a family and two and a half years ago, they adopted their son, Michael and about seven months ago, they adopted their daughter, Jenna.

“I now jokingly tell my husband that he is the odd man out. I’m adopted, Michael and Jenna are both adopted; we out number him!”

Although, Patty’s children’s adoptions are open she is able to relate to them on some levels being an adoptee herself. Her daughter’s birthmom said that one of the reasons that she chose Patty and her husband was because Patty was adopted.

“Being both an adoptee and an adoptive mother, I think that I might know how my kids feel about certain things. I know how I might approach them about certain things pertaining to their adoptions.”

In conclusion, I asked Patty if she had any advice for others who may have more than one “role” in adoption.

“Just embrace your role. Life isn’t always what you think it’s going to be, which is good! Things do end up being okay, maybe not what you thought, but that’s okay. I love my kids more than anything in this world. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about me being adopted or adopting my kids.”

Thank you Patty for taking the time to share your story with us!

This concludes my series on triad members who wear more than one “adoption hat.” Thanks so much to Patty, Lisa, and Kacy for sharing their stories with us.

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Related Posts:
Wearing More than One Adoption Hat: Adoptee and Birthmom Part 1 and Part 2
Wearing More than One Adoption Hat: Birthmom and Adoptive Mom Part 1 and Part 2
Wearing More than One Adoption Hat: Adoptee and Adoptive Mom Part 1

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