In my last post, I wrote about how lately I have been trying to emphasize the brotherly bond between Noah and Charlie. I have really become how aware this bond between them is lately and want to do my best to emphasize it and allow it to grow. Since they are not typical brothers growing up in the same household as many brothers do, it will take a little creative thinking in order for this bond to grow and develop on both the parts of the adoptive mom and the birthmom with the children they are each raising.

Below are some ways that you can build the bond between siblings you are separated by adoption.

• When talking with the child about his/her sibling, refer to the sibling as brother or sister to emphasize the connection. For example, I refer to Charlie as “your little brother Charlie” when talking to Noah.



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• Bring up the sibling periodically in conversations as well as look at pictures of the sibling.


• Frame a picture of both children together to place in the child’s room. Noah has one in his room of himself, Charlie, and Charlie’s sister, N, that has held a special spot on his bookshelf for some time now.


• You could also create a special photo album of the siblings together. Noah loves looking at photos so this is something I’m working on for him and will probably make an identical one for Charlie as well.


• When your child does something like his/her sibling, tell him. A (Charlie’s adoptive Mom) does this with Charlie often and will say, “You look just like your brother, Noah, when you make that expression.”


• If you say nightly prayers with your child, pray for his/her sibling each night.


• When visiting, allow the children to have some one on one time, if they are both old enough. Of course, adults can still be in the room, but give them a little space to play and get to know one another.


• Depending on their age, you may wish to allow them to talk on the phone. This is not something we have done yet, but I do know of other situations where talking on the phone is a great way for siblings to keep up with one another.


• For holidays such as Christmas and birthdays, allow your child to pick out a special gift for his sibling or allow him/her to make the sibling a special card.

While it’s not traditional it certainly is possible for brothers and sisters separated by adoption to have a sibling bond.

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