OMG. After I stopped crying, I had to sit down and tell my readers how incredibly validating Nancy Spoolstra’s interview today on Kansas City’s Channel 4 was, concerning the Stocklaufer family and others like them. Just to hear the truth at the heart of all adoption trauma and loss, really made me feel like I really am not alone, and I am not even the family she was hoping to help.

To actually hear someone telling about the trauma that our children deal with, in essence lending them a real voice, was so wonderful it had me crying and doing cartwheels! Yes, you naughty Nancy, you had me in tears, but in a good way. I get it, I DO, and I hope that others will be moved to ‘get it’ as well through what was shared. My only prayer now is that the judge responsible for making a decision in this case will open his heart and mind to her words, and they will have some positive impact for the Stocklaufers and families in similar situations.

I deal with the losses of my own children everyday, and for me even as someone who understands most the issues, it can seem like a mountain too high to climb. To see that our court systems often do not see the best interests of a child, all the way to the core of their needs, is also not so surprising to me. It’s not just the courts, it’s our schools, our friends, our extended family, and all too often even others in the adoption world who have their fingers firmly planted in their ears, and are not hearing the full story. Thank you Nancy for lending you voice!

Part of what Nancy said, reminded me that no matter how big this mountain, I need to keep climbing for the sake of my children. I search for bits of hope along the journey, you have to look for signs that you are on the right track. One thing I do know, these kids do not need any further disruptions or trauma. Their best advocate is a parent who is never leaving, willing to go to the ends of the earth to do what is right for them. That kind of family, those kind of parents, very much makes me think of the Stocklaufers. They have done, and continue to do any and everything to assure that baby Max has the best chance, something any loving parent would do. They have already been through things I do not know if I would have the strength to endure, and here they are gearing up for yet another round. Please pray baby Max will be returned home to them as soon as possible, before the trauma is deepened, and in order to prevent yet another loving family needlessly torn apart.

Here is Nancy's post about the interview

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