One of the positive aspects of open adoption that I often mention is that the birthmother is there to answer questions directly from the child when they occur. Questions don’t have to be held off until birthmother and child meet. Oftentimes, she could be emailed or telephoned when the child begins to have questions. However, are we prepared for these questions?

I guess I thought that these questions would come in the future, maybe more when Charlie was able to understand the birds and the bees. I’m not quite sure when I thought his questions would occur, but the truth is I wasn’t and I’m not prepared!

Recently, he asked me the first adoption related question he has ever asked me. It wasn’t a tough question but it did catch me off guard. It was when he was at my house for his birthday and he asked me who Noah’s birthmom was. Without thinking I said me, thinking you know, I gave birth to both of them. But then I quickly realized that was the wrong answer and corrected myself. I then explained that Noah doesn’t have two Moms as Charlie does, he only has me. Charlie then needed further clarification on this so he asked me whose belly Noah grew in. Charlie knows and understands that he grew in my belly and that I chose S and A to be his parents. I then told him that Noah grew in my belly too. The always cleverly comical Charlie replied with, “No, I was in your tummy! I was in there by myself! Noah wasn’t there!”

I don’t think I did too terribly bad with those questions but they did serve as a wake up call that I need to get myself prepared. He’s thinking and other questions are surely to come up sometime in the near future.

--
Related Posts:
Building an Open Relationship
Explaining the Tough Stuff