It doesn’t matter if I was on National TV or a desert island, I would still cry if I had met my real mother.

Don’t make light of a situation when you don’t even know the people. I never got to meet my mother. She died while I was looking for her.

If you don’t understand why people are crying all over each other’s heads on National TV, then you don’t understand adoption and wanting to meet your real mother. I would cry too if I had had a chance to meet my mother. I cry now because I didn’t get to meet her. She died before I could find her. It wouldn’t matter if I was on TV or on a desert island, it would still be emotional.

Just because it isn’t emotional to you doesn’t mean it’s not a sensitive and emotional matter.

Our experiences are varied so different aspects of adoption touch and affect us. Reunion represents healing for me, so, it touches me deeply. Though even the all-happy unrealistic ones do annoy me a tad too.

I do appreciate that you often speak of some of the truths in adoption that many do not care to examine. Thanks for doing so!

I got what you were saying. I hate the ooey-gooey, gushy, overly sentimental type stuff, too. I don’t cry at that stuff, and I find it often simplifies the complexities of adoption.

That doesn’t mean my “sense of emotion” has been dulled. I feel very deeply for my birthdaughter, how her adoption has affected my life and will affect hers, and for other women and the pain they feel in relinquishing.

I actually think it can be a sign of true DEPTH of feeling to have some distaste over the sentimental crap.

I know a lot of people that work in the adoption relm burn out quickly. It all gets old to them.

However, as a adoptive parent of 4 children (open adoption). I feel sorry for you that you have lost your sences of emotion.

Emotional health is one of the biggest issues in adoption. Thats why there are therapists and worry of attachment disorder and a number of other things.

The emotional value of birth parent and biological child is always one of great concern and value. Both the parents and the child have questions and they need andswers.

You can love a child and raise that child and treat it with respect and the deepest charity of your heart. But that will not stop that child from having all the questions of Why? and When? and Who?

So yes open adoption works. So does closed adoptions for infants.
In our case the birth mom is so stoned she could care less. She does not even know the names she gave her children or who they are or what they like. Pretty sad for an open adoption. We have pictures and videos the kids made for her that she may never care to see.

I detest the cold hearted side of adoption. I detest how the birth mom treats our children how she never calls or writes or even asks about them. I hate that the kids have to see the woman who gave birth to them so numb from a life of drugs that, mom does not even recall who they are.

You should see the pain in the childs eyes when this happens. Adoption is an Emotional thing.
I don’t see how anyone could grow cold of seeing children with happy endings and birth parents with memories loving their child.

But then again I’m just one adoptive mom.

Shar

Even if you have never seen the child you relinquished to adoption, if you carried that child for 9 months in your womb, you have met.

Reunion stories did not affect me terribly much – until I met my son = and got to know others who also reunited. Only then did I understand and become affected by reunion stories.

When I began studying adoption after reunion, I wanted to believe that open adoptions worked well generally and inflicted less harm on birth mothers. From what I have seen though, that may not necessarily be the case, especially if promises are broken.

Your examples cite open adoptions at the very beginning. I wonder if you have the opportunity to follow up many open adoptions and see how all the parties are a few years down the road?