Continued from Part 1

I went in search of the experts opinions on the benefits of open adoption and found some interesting information. Before I begin explaining why some of the experts favor open adoption, let’s define what the experts see as the goals of open adoptions.

• To minimize the child's loss of relationships



• To maintain and celebrate the adopted child's
  connections with all the important people in his or her life.



• To allow children to resolve losses with truth, rather than with fantasy

Below is what the experts said the benefits of open adoption are for the adopted child. The experts’ opinions are in italics while my comments and thoughts are in regular text.

Benefits for the Child:

• Direct access to birth parents and history



• Need to search is eliminated. I consider this one as a big plus as searches tend to be exhausting, long, and often costly.



• Identity questions are answered (“Who do I look like?” “Why was I placed?”)



• Lessens fantasies of birthparents. Having birthparents directly involved eliminates fantasies, mysteries, and questions that a child may have about his or her genetic background.



• Eases feelings of abandonment



• Increased circle of supportive adults. As I have said before, a child can never have too many people that love him/her and the biological family is just an addition to this love.

Not only do experts agree that open adoption can benefit the child, but it can be a positive for the adoptive parents and birth parents as well. Again, the experts’ opinions are in italics with my comments in regular text.

Benefits for adoptive parents:

• Increased sense of the having the “right” to parent and increased ability for confident parenting. Not that all adoptive parents need “permission” to parent their child, but I have heard adoptive parents say that is meaningful to know that a birthmother searched and chose them especially for her child.



• Potential authentic relationship with the birth family. This is typically one of the goals of open adoption; for the birth family and adoptive family to come together in the genuine best interests of the child.



• More understanding of the child’s history.



• Increased empathy for birthparents. Adoptive parents are able to know that a birth parent does love and grieve over their child and eliminate some of the stereotypes of birth parents.



• Less fear of the birth parents reclaiming the child because they know the parent and their wishes.

Benefits for birth parents:

• Increased ability to deal with grief and loss
  Comfort in knowing child’s well being. For me personally, it is a comforting thought to know that my son is healthy, happy, loved, and well cared for. I don’t have to wonder or worry about him.



• Sense of control over decision making pre placement. I did feel a great deal of control during the pre placement process being able to choose parents for my son and make other decisions.



• Potential for more fully defined role in child’s life. I am able to have a role in my son’s life where as if I was not involved I might not know exactly what my role was.



• Potential to develop a healthy relationship with the child as he or she grows.

While the experts’ opinions are important, I'd love to hear from YOU, real people who are currently participating in open adoptions as to what you feel the benefits are for all involved!
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