Birthdays are emotional for some members of the adoption triad. Below are a few ways you can help make those birthday parties fun and meaningful for all involved.

And just for clarification purposes I’m writing this post from my perspective, that of the birthmom, although some of these tips will probably be helpful to adoptive parents as well.

• Go early or stay late -Try to schedule a little bit of one on one time before or after the party so you (birthmom) can spend a little bit of quiet time with your child. Parties can get crowded, noisy, busy, and overwhelming pretty quickly so you may not actually be able to have much one on one time with your child, so going a bit early or staying late remedies this.



• Take a break – If you get overwhelmed emotionally (and you might) take a quick breather. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, step outside, or busy yourself with a distraction.



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• Offer to help - Parties can sometimes be difficult to get everything ready and done by a certain time so your child’s Mom may appreciate the help (either before with preparations or afterwards with clean up) and it will make you feel more involved and useful. This can also be a distraction if you are feeling overwhelmed emotionally.
  Bringing guests – If you wish to bring other people with you (aside from people who are already assumed to be coming with you like husband or boyfriend and parented children) check ahead of time and make sure it is ok.



• Activities for Parented Children – Depending on the age of your child there might not be much for your parented children to actively participate in at the party. Unlike older children’s parties where there are typically games and activities that your parented child could participate in, some of the early years birthday parties (first and second birthdays in particular) typically do not have games or activities as everyone just sits around and watches the birthday boy or girl be cute, play in the cake, and open presents. This could leave your parented children antsy after a little bit, so bring some small toys or books to occupy them should they become antsy.

Remember, birthdays are a celebration, so have fun!

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Related Posts:
Birthday Candles
Your Child's Birthday
The Emotional Side of Birthdays
A Trip Down Birthday Memory Lane

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