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For many birthmothers, Mother’s Day weekend is one of the hardest times of the year. You are not alone – Mother’s Day is a hard time of the year for many other Mothers as well such as Mothers who have had miscarriages or mothers whose children have died.
As birthmothers, some of us may we feel that we can’t celebrate with all the other mothers because our children are not with us. I know I feel this way sometimes in regards to Charlie. But I believe that although we are not parenting our children, we put their needs first when we made the decision to place our child for adoption and putting her child first is what a good mother does, therefore, we are good mothers and deserve to honor, acknowledge, and celebrate that in any way we see fit. How you choose to do that is going to vary for each birthmother. What I do might not be comfortable to another birthmother and vice versus so find what works for you and do that.
Do something for yourself this weekend. Take a long walk. Relax and give yourself permission to be lazy. Treat yourself to a manicure or a pedicure or give yourself one. Write down your prayers for your child on a piece of paper, tie it to a balloon, and release it in the sky to heaven. Go window shopping. Call an old friend and talk for awhile. Get together with other birthmother friends. Have a nice warm cup of tea and just chill for awhile. Spend a few moments and reflect on being a birthmother and a Mother. Watch a funny movie. Cook and eat a good meal and maybe even share it with others. Hang out with family or friends. Write in your journal about your feelings on Mother’s Day whether they are happy or sad, good or bad, get them out. Read a good book. Buy yourself a flower. Bake a yummy desert (like a cake or some yummy cookies), eat it, and try not to worry about the calories.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!
Photo Credit: Coley S
Mother’s Day is particulary hard for me. I am an adoptee who had a second rejection, third rejection…reunited a forth time. My mother has alzheimers. Long and sad story but I will say this. I would not recommend to ANY adopted person to seek out their birth mother. If the birth mother cares more about her child than herself she will do the contacting. DON’T contact your birth mother. It could be a wonderful thing or it could be hell as it has been for me.
Mother’s Day is particulary hard for me. I am an adoptee who had a second rejection, third rejection…reunited a forth time. My mother has alzheimers. Long and sad story but I will say this. I would not recommend to ANY adopted person to seek out their birth mother. If the birth mother cares more about her child than herself she will do the contacting. DON’T contact your birth mother. It could be a wonderful thing or it could be hell as it has been for me.