I always find it interesting when our family is out and about together that I almost always have someone, out of nowhere, approach me with an open wallet.

Before you think I am getting any cash gifts from total strangers, you should know that these people are opening the photo section of their wallets to me, sharing pictures of their children or grandchildren.

It never fails that someone sees our trans-racial family in public, and they immediately connect because they too have African American family members. I think this instant, intimate gesture of sharing your photos (often before even introducing yourself) is something I did not quite expect after welcoming our son home, but as time goes on I see it more and more often.

Yesterday while listening to some musicians play at the theme park we took our family too, a man approached me with the camera screen of his cell phone flipped open (a high tech twist). He immediately shared a beautiful photo of his granddaughter L, and launched into the story of how his daughter had welcomed her home. The kind gentleman was also anxious to hear all about our son and how he came into our family. Of course I shared that we had welcomed all our children through adoption. I enjoyed hearing his granddaughter’s story, as well as her beautiful pictures. It was obvious that this child is very loved by her devoted grandfather.

While I don’t like Carson to feel singled out because of his more obvious adoptive status, I understand that at times like this it is often as unavoidable as it is unintentional. I know I often do the same thing in approaching other families like my own. I want to hear their story, I want to feel like part of a larger group along with them.

Most of us do not wear tee shirts with our multi-racial family status announced on them, for times when we are not as obvious and together as a unit. Pulling out our family photos is one way of saying that we are alike, we share a specific connection to others around us. Lets face it, most people do like to find others who share our unique experiences. We tend to gravitate toward people who have “been there” and we need not explain ourselves too because they already understand.

Another time an unfamiliar lady came up to me at the yard sale my mother in law and I were having, and pulled out pictures of her grandchildren. I knew what she was saying before I ever laid eyes on her family photos. My mother in law seemed surprised that some stranger would be so forward, so familiar, till I told her that the woman’s grand babies were also African American. I think this is the way that those of us who have a multi cultural family seek out our “tribe” of sorts. This is our way to find those others among us who approve and understand, amid a world who in general does not.

I am always thrilled to see family photos and meet others who know about what this part of my life journey might be like. It’s good to see families like my own, it is encouraging to me, and hopefully my own words of interest and understanding will be an encouragement to them.

Just A Multicultural Mommy

Sharing Birthparent Info With Others