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Many mothers who place children go on to have other children in life. This is probably something you don’t consider in open adoption, that someday you will have to explain to those subsequent children you are raising about the child you placed. 
Some people, like Dr. Abby, believe that it’s best to wait and explain it when the child is older and can understand t he consequences of sex. But, this really doesn’t make sense in an open adoption, when your children will be able to have some sort of relationship. Plus, as we all have heard before, keeping things like this as a s secret is just not good and can lead to more issuses later on down the line. Many birthmothers I know begin to explain to their children about their brother or sister that was placed for adoption, from the moment they are very little. Then it’s never a hidden secret or surprise.
In talking to your child about adoption, try and keep it age appropriate. Obviously you are not going to go to in depth as to why you chose adoption for your child if the child you are explaining adoption to is young. You can answer the harder questions as to why you placed your child for adoption; bring up the reasoning, etc as your child grows older. This isn’t a conversation you are just going to have once; it’s going to be an ongoing conversation over the years of your child’s life. He or she may have questions from time to time as well. Let your child know that is ok to ask questions and that you are there to answer them.
Fellow birthmom, Suzi T., wrote an article entitled When and How to Tell your Children about the Child you Placed. In it, she shares a few good tips as to how you can begin to explaining this to your child. I love her last tip the best and will leave you with this thought.
Most important of all; tell your child that you love both of them and that you didn’t place because you were angry and that there were reasons (maybe that you can’t explain right now) that you decided to place, and that they have nothing to worry about as far as that goes.
