I think that baby showers are painful for birthmothers because they remind of us what we did not have and what we missed. Most of us who are now birthmothers did not have that celebratory baby shower that so many new mothers are thrown in the late months of pregnancy. It’s almost like the baby shower is a passage to motherhood and it’s one of those rites that we miss so going to baby showers can be difficult.

If you feel too emotional or not ready to attend a baby shower just yet, politely try to bow out. Most of the times friends and family will understand. Don’t sacrifice your emotional health just to be there for appearance sake.

If you don’t want to bow out or feel obligated to attend, try going a little bit early and then leaving once it starts to get crowded or go towards the end of the shower. This way you are still making an appearance but you can avoid some of the “oh’s” and “ah’s” and baby shower games.

If you have decided to attend a baby shower and you need a gift but just can’t handle the baby sections of stores, then opt to buy a gift card or instead of buying a gift for the baby, buy a gift for the mother. She’ll receive a ton of gifts for the baby so you could buy her something pampering (like bath gels, candles, gift certificate for a massage, fuzzy slippers, a robe, etc.) and attach a card reminding her to take time for herself.

If you attend a baby shower and begin to feel emotional, take a minute to yourself in the bathroom or another area where you can just have a moment to collect your thoughts, breathe, and regain your composure. I usually offer to assist with refreshments, cut cake, or some other kind of activity that will keep me busy for a bit.

Do baby showers bother you? Do you have any helpful tips on how to survive a baby shower? Please share!

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