It’s important to have a support network of people to lean on in your times of need. Most of us have at least one person, whether it is a friend or family member that we typically turn to when we need support. There will be little moments through out your life that you will need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen as you forever deal with being a birthmother. You’ll need someone to lean on your child’s birthdays, Mother’s Day, when you deal with annoying comments, when you see a child that reminds you of your own, etc.

Over the next few days, I will begin a series on building a support network for yourself and introduce you to some of the people in my own support network.

While friends and family members are awesome support people, unless they just so happen to be birthmothers themselves, they may not understand the feelings that go along with being a birthmom. Sure, they can sympthaize but unless they have “been there, done that” they truly can not understand the pain, loss, and joy a birthmother feels.

That is why it’s great to try and reach out and make a few friends that are birthmothers. I think this is especially important for new birthmothers. Newer birthmoms need the support of birthmoms who have been at it awhile to let them know that they can survive.

How can you meet other birthmothers?
If you placed through an agency, many time they will have other birthmothers who are willing to talk with another birthmother and they can support one another. Ask your agency if they have any birthmothers who would be willing to meet or talk. If not, let them know that you are interested in meeting and talking with other birthmothers and if any in the future are looking for another birthmom to chat with you are ready and willing.

Another great way to make birthmom friends is support groups. If you placed through an agency check with them and see if they have a birthmother support group that you could attend. If they don’t offer a support group, look in your yellow pages for other agencies in the area and see if they offer a birthmother support group. Many times, agencies will let you attend their support groups, even if you did not place through them.

One of my favorite quotes is Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another "What? you too? I thought I was the only one!" I think this quote is right on target for many birthmoms because it is like we have an instant connection because of the same life altering event we have experienced.