Comments on: Still have Baby Max’s Birthmom on My Mind

By: Coley S.

Coley S. — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 09:19:40 +0000

Thanks Alicia!

By: Brittanys1stmom

Brittanys1stmom — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 00:59:38 +0000

I agree with Jamie. Even though I did not get to choose my daughter’s adoptive parents (long story, some of you know it, if not click on the link by my name on here and you can read it), I would be very upset to know she was taken away from the people she has bonded with and been close to all these years plus it would make it harder for me to find her when she turns 18. It is so nice caring, and considerate of you to think about Max’s birth mother, as you said, the one who is overlooked in this whole matter. You are wonderful, caring, and empathetic person Coley.

By: Deb Donatti

Deb Donatti — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:22:08 +0000

Coley, You are exactly right, this is a huge concern, and I know this HAS happened (for various reasons) in this same Jackson county Missouri court before. That leads me to feel that it has also happened elsewhere.
If a mother has no reason why a child would be removed from her to foster care, she makes an adoption decision, and the couple meets all the laws and requirements of the state, then they should RESPECT her decision.
If for some reason they do not feel that the couple should complete the adoption it is the equivalent of LEGAL KIDNAPPING for them to go forth and revoke her rights, with the intent to take the baby from the family and place the baby in foster care. If there is a question, the mother should NOT have her rights revoked anyway, she should be consulted about if she would like to resume custody and parent or seek another family of her choosing.
Personally I think this goes on a lot in private placements (almost happened to our family!)
My guess is the when an adoption agency does this, they can then opt to place that baby with a "better" family of their choosing (perhaps a wealthier one who would help boost their profitability?) without any interference from the biological mother. When a court does so it becomes even more complicated because states recieve $$$ for children in foster care from the federal government, as well as a cash $$$ insentive for every baby THEY place. If it is a private adoption, or the mother's selection of a non foster certified family, they get nothing.
Coley, I am glad you are talking about this! Potential placing parents need to know that they run the risk of their careful made plans, being thoughtlessly undone by the courts who may also make them powerless to stop it.
On another note....
We have not even begun to address that baby Max has FIVE biological siblings, adopted by other Stocklaufer family members, this is a loss for them of their baby brother as well.
So much for this state's supposed position to make keeping families together as a priority in child welfare!

By: Coley S.

Coley S. — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:17:04 +0000

I couldn’t agree with you more, Lizzy!

By: lizzybetinlex

lizzybetinlex — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:24:12 +0000

I’d be super pissed if my daughter got taken away from her family cause of something like that. I mean we chose the parents for our babies. And who should have the right to take that away??