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As I’ve mentioned before, I love music and can often times here a song and relate to it in some way, shape, or form. The lyrics of songs can cheer me up, make me feel happy or sad, make me feel less alone, or remind me of a particular moment in my life. Often times for me, it isn’t the whole song I relate to but a particular verse, the chorus, or sometimes even just one particular line or phrase. Sometimes I can hear a song repeatedly before it may touch me.
As I was recently listening to the radio Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts song came on. I’ve been touched by many of their songs and while I’ve heard this song before, this particular time it touched me and took me back to a time in which I often don’t let my mind drift too.
The chorus of the song is the most applicable part to me:
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I’m gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things would never change
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye
Listening to the chorus I got misty eyed as my thoughts drifted back to the hospital where I spent precious moments with my baby as I cuddled him, talked to him, and loved on him for the last moments that I was his only mother before putting him into the arms of his adoptive Mother.
Those moments were painful. It is hard to remember them sometimes. As in the chorus of the song, I knew what was coming, I knew the pain (maybe not the exact extent of the pain, but I knew heartache would be involved) was coming, I knew that even though our adoption was to be an open one I would be saying goodbye (to being his only Mother and “mothering” him) in a sense.
The first time I saw the video for this song, I cried my eyes out, especially when the mom says to her dad “you tell my boy I still miss him”. I still cry everytime I watch that video.
Music is also a huge part of my life. I often wake up with a line or two from a song in my head that relates to some issue that I am trying to deal with.