I’ve told you before about my love of music. It seems that sometimes I can hear a song that has absolutely nothing to do with adoption or the love between a mother and a child but yet, it reminds me of Charlie or my love for him. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever heard a song that had absolutely nothing to do with adoption but it just something in that song touched you and reminded you of your child?

That happened recently when I was listening to the radio while driving home with my husband. I’d heard the song, I Loved Her First, by Heartland at least more than a dozen times before but it’d never struck me in the way that it had on Friday. I had a conversation with Charlie the night before so I guess he was just on my mind and heart more than usual, because as I was listening this time I heard things that reminded me of him and my love for him.

The song is actually written from the view point of a father whose daughter has fallen in love and is getting married. In the song (or at least in my interpretation of the song) he is saying to the daughter’s husband, “I loved her first.” The chorus of the song is the part that reminds me most of my love for Charlie:

“But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first.”

And since I do have a son, in my head when I’m reading over those lyrics, I do change it to fit for a boy, but you get the idea.

I didn’t have many of Charlie’s firsts once I placed him, but I did have some of the firsts while I was still pregnant and before he was placed. I did know of him first and love him first, before his adoptive parents even knew of his existence.

I Loved Her First; that song just took on a whole different meaning for me.

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For more songs that are adoption related or remind me of adoption or a mother’s love for her child, check out these posts.