My number one tip? Be prepared to find out you’re wrong, about everything, according to someone you will meet anyway. At the very least you may find that you do not know as much as you might have thought. Tip number two, develop your thick skin right now, because the online world of adoption is not a warm and fuzzy place.

When we first became a family by way of adoption, I was somewhat content to just live in my own little world, and deal with the issues unique to our own family and the birthfamilies of our children. For a long time I did not feel the need to look online for information or advice. As time went on, and I was looking for better ways to address some of the more complex things, like visits, and ethics, and the moral issues that make adoption challenging, I soon found myself going online for more. That decision has often been a mixed bag at best.

On the up side, I have met many wonderful people online, people I might never have otherwise had the opportunity to get to know. Those people have shared some deeply personal and emotional perspectives about adoption that I had not until that time been exposed to. I have met other adoptive parents, as well as adult adoptees and birthparents, all sharing what they have been through, in their various adoption experiences. I value their input. I hear their voices, and that has changed how I view so much of what my own family faces every day.

On the down side, there are a ton of very angry and bitter people out there, and unfortunately they blame it all on adoption. While I fully understand that adoption is no walk in the park, I have to wonder what the purpose of these folks pouring out their bitterness on others online really is. I suppose that saying that misery loves company is very true.

I truly feel bad for those who have been hurt or abused by their adoption experience, but I can’t agree with those among them who feel that all of adoption is to blame. I also acknowledge that not everyone who has been harmed by adoption practices feels the need to totally negate it’s positive purpose for some children. I hear most clearly the voices of those who might have been treated unfairly by adoption practices, but who still understand the answer is reform and not abolishment. So far that has been my only real regret about the online experience, falling into the lair of the few extreme anti-adoptionists out there.

Coming online to find support, information and validation has been a mixed bag of goods. I know that all of life is that way though. You take the good along with the bad, and you learn to adjust what you take in accordingly.

Open Adoption Spoken Here, But EVERYONE Is Welcome

Adoption And Open Adoption - WHAT Do People Expect To Hear?


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