Open Adoption, Adoption Openness, Adoption Contact - Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions: Sadness

Open Adoption Blog

06/28/07

Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions: Sadness

Posted by : Coley S. in Open Adoption Blog at 02:29 pm , 333 words, 42 views
Categories: Emotions

As a birthmother, there are times throughout the days and years that we will feel triggered sadness, meaning the sadness is triggered by an event or holiday such as our child’s birthday, Mother’s Day, or even something like attending a baby shower.

On these days we feel the loss of our motherhood greatly. We are saddened for our loss and the hurt and heartache our souls feel. Some may think that the sadness is lessened because of open adoptions (and it could be, I’ve never experienced anything other than an open adoption) but regardless of the intensity of the sadness, it is still there.

Below are some ways to deal with sadness.

Prepare for it if you can. If you know that holidays and birthdays are approaching that will make you sad, prepare for them. Plan things to do on those days or people to be with. Of course, other times you can not prepare for the sadness and it just comes.

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It’s ok to cry! This is one I have really had to work on personally. I always tell myself “don’t cry” because I feel that once I get started crying, I may never stop! But what really happens is, I don’t let myself cry and it is worse later when I finally do cry because it’s so built up. If I would learn to let myself just cry when it comes on then it wouldn’t be so bad later. Crying is actually healthy and cleanses the soul.

Talk with someone about how you are feeling. If you are feeling down, like with any other emotion, don’t keep the sadness locked up inside. Talk with a trusted friend, family member, or a counselor about why you are feeling sad.