Below is a recent reader question.

“My (birth) daughter’s Christening is this weekend. I’ve been invited by her adoptive family and will be attending but I am a little nervous. There are going to be a lot of people there, around 80! Any advice for me? This is only the second time I will have seen my daughter since she left the hospital with her adoptive family.”

First of all, know that being a tad nervous and anxious is ok and perfectly normal. Six years later, I still get nervous butterflies before visits occasionally, especially if it is a big event like a Christening is.

Obviously with all those people you are probably not going to get much one on one time with your daughter, so consider (of course discuss this with the adoptive family first) going a bit early or staying a bit later so that you are able to spend a little time with your daughter without so many people around.

If you are picky about how you are introduced to the adoptive parents’ friends and family, bring that up with the adoptive parents before hand. Also, with a big event like this it is probably wise for whoever is hosting (in this case the adoptive parents) to let their friends and family know that you will be there. I know that when we haven’t done this is my own situation, sometimes people are shocked to see Charlie’s birthmom sitting their live and in the flesh. People who are not personally touched by adoption might not realize how common open adoption is and might not be aware that you would even be in attendance.

If you get a little upset sometime during the day and feel tears coming on, know that it is ok and normal. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or outside for a bit of fresh air and take a minute to regain composure if need be.

Something else that I do to distract myself at events like these is offer to help out in some way. For instance, if the adoptive parents are having a reception after the Christening offer to help serve drinks or something. I find that keeping myself busy is sometimes helpful.

Most importantly, just treasure the moments and try to enjoy yourself. And don’t forget to take a million pictures!

Do you have a question or issue you'd like addressed? Feel free to email me at coleys@adoptionblogs.com and I will try to answer your question or address your issue.

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More on Visits:
Visits that Include Other People
Nervous Butterflies before a Visit
Other Reader Questions:
What does your Child Call You?
Question about Letters and Pictures