It seems all the current talk about
National Adoption Awareness Month has also brought out the ranting and full-blown, mouth foaming raving of the anti-adoption factions too.
I really hate that, but hey if they can rant, so can the rest of us, right?
All these folks do when they shove the sum total of the adoption world into a huge bag and label it all as
completely unethical and
always unnecessary, is just give reform in its purest sense a really bad name, and further harm the children in question. So many of us really
do want true and dramatic reforms in adoption practice,
but at the same time we also want children to have every hope of the life long love and support of a family. Truth is kids can’t wait forever for that. If they can’t, through no fault of their own, remain with biological family should those kids just be SOL?
No, being raised in a family outside of the one you were birthed into is not ideal, but then neither is sharing a crib with three unrelated infants, being fed, and maybe if your lucky held and changed once a day. Neither is beating your tiny head against the spindles of your shared crib because your little brain is being neglected. Neither is becoming physically and mentally disabled because the experience of being in an orphanage is preferable to some for you, over that of being in a loving family.
Being born to a mother who is prepared and who wants to parent is also ideal, but if that isn’t your situation, should you just go head first into the nearest dumpster. How about poverty, class, race, cultural issues? Do three, four, five generations of children just languish in substandard limbo while we look for the best way just to keep them right there where they are? Their need to be surrounded by DNA, or even just the slim possibility of the return of biological parents trumps all else? How about their most basic need for nurturance and permanence,
no matter where it’s coming from?
Why do these extremists insist on drawing so much energy away from what is really needed? We should all be strongly focused on reforming adoption practices, making them work for the children who would benefit, and not just trying to completely do away with them. We
all need to be...
~Pushing for the removal of profit from adoptive placements
~Doing everything we can to create transparency in the adoption process
~Making sure that relinquishments and placements are as ethical as possible
~Educating those who would adopt children about their responsibilities as adoptive parents
~Setting in place regulations that universally allow for openness agreements and fair treatment for birthfamilies
~Passing laws that restore adult adoptees their rights to original birth records and information
~And at the same time, working with issues involving poverty, housing, education, mental health, drug usage, abuse, and societal pressure that would prevent people from parenting their children.
Ok, just a bit said. I have only glossed over the surface, but I feel better having said it. Not that anyone will be listening, nor will any of the anti-adoptionists cease their ranting, but hopefully people will not see their lop-sided perspective as the only one out there.
Evil Adoptress Speaks Out!
Adoption Hate
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