I have a friend and reader who is also a birthmother who is going through something at the moment and I thought I’d bring this situation to the masses to possibly get some feedback from all of you reading.
Let me present you with the situation first…
M, is a birthmother who placed her son in an open adoption directly following his birth. He is now four years old. She has a pretty good friendship/relationship with his adoptive mother. She (M, the birthmother) is now pregnant with a baby girl that she will be parenting. As she nears her due date, she has been thinking of who she would like to be her daughter’s God Mother. After reflecting back over the important people in her life, her son’s adoptive mom stands out in her mind and she is now considering asking his adoptive mom to be her daughter’s God Mother.
It’s also important to know that her son’s adoptive parents are now trying to adopt again and are hoping for a baby girl this time around. She wouldn’t want asking the adoptive Mother to be the God Mother to be a “slap in the face” so to speak or for this to become an offensive matter.
Obviously, this is an emotional situation for all involved and since there is no handbook that says what is right or wrong in open adoption M feels like she is walking shaky ground. I’ve never heard of this type of situation happening before but just because I don’t know of it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s never happened.
So, what do you all think? Is this a good idea or is she over stepping bounds?