The last few days here have been about me getting ready for a visit with my son’s birthfamily. I have been cleaning, and cooking, and gathering a few gifts for the big day. I am especially excited about this visit, because it has been longer than normal since our last, and because there are a few “new” members for us to meet.

This will be the first time for my son to visit with his new baby brother M. The baby is just few months old, and Carson is very excited about seeing him for the first time. Part of me is sad that we do not live close enough for me to have taken my son to meet his brother at the hospital (like we did for Cierra and her baby brother last year.) I know he would have really liked being able to visit him right away, but because of recent moves, this is the best we have been able to do.

While I have truly missed seeing P, and am also very excited about seeing the new baby, I am a working myself into a ball of nerves! Of course when I get nervous about the house, and everything else being ready (to my way too high standards), things always seem to be harder than normal to get done. I need a maid, and a sedative!

I am not nervous about P, or her family members who will be coming along, it is all about ME. My own crazy, perfectionistic view of how my house should be ready, and things prepared, is driving me into a jittery mess. While I know when P comes to visit, it’s not the cleanliness of the house, or the meals that I prepare that matters to her, I really do want to make things nice for them. I know I want P to feel as ease, and I suppose to me a clean house and a huge meal means “ease.”

What I have figured out is, no matter how much I do, I am never satisfied. I know that I am not Martha Stewart, but I guess I would only be satisfied with the same level of perfection that she is so well noted for (even if it can come across as a bit annoying!) I want to have a clean house, I want to provide a nice meal, I want to have a great visit, I want everything to be just right. It’s enough to make anyone feel a bit overwhelmed.

So I will slow down, try not to worry so much. Things will not be as ready as I might want, but it will be “ok.” I am honestly just thankful for the opportunity to get together, it has seemed like such a long while. P and family have been very missed here in our messy, unorganized little corner of the world.

Missing Love

A Brother Connection

Hand Me Downs

Visits - Time, Distance And Delays

Photo:© 2007 Deb Donatti



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