In yesterdays post, I discussed the negative aspect of my family loosing a family member. I really didn’t realize before signing those papers how much relinquishment would affect not just me but everyone in our family.

However, a positive aspect of open adoption is the fact that my family members have the ability to have a relationship with Charlie. Granted it’s not the normal type of relationship that they would have had with Charlie had I parented him, but it’s still a relationship. They have the opportunity to see him grow and thrive and to know him and be a part of his life. My parents are able to accompany me to his birthday parties if they wish. They are able to see him at the holidays as well. I give them pictures and let them know how he is doing and Charlie knows who they are and asks about them as well. It did take my parents a little time to come around to this type of openness and relationship, but alas they have.

The most important relationship to me that has been able to remain somewhat in tact is the brotherly bond Charlie and Noah share. Again, just as with my parents, this relationship is not the “normal” type of relationship that Charlie and Noah would have had if I had parented Charlie. They don’t live under the same roof. But it is a brotherly relationship just the same. They get along great at one moment and the next moment they are fighting over a toy and an adult has to step in. They get jealous of the attention I pay to the other one when they are both in the room. All things that would probably occur had I parented Charlie.

Although it’s not a typical relationship, I am grateful that open adoption has allowed my family to have some type of relationship with Charlie and that Charlie can have some type of relationship with them.

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Other Positives in my NaBloPoMo Series:
1. Positive: Visits
2. Positive: My Relationship with Charlie's Adoptive Parents
3. Positive: Moments I haven't Missed
4. Positive: No Searching
5. Finding a Voice
6. Always Around to Answer Questions

Photo: My parents with Charlie
© Coley Strickland