Comments on: Planning For November – National Adoption Awareness Month http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/planning-for-november-national-adoption Blog with information on open adoption. Includes advice, tips, concerns, and news articles about open adoption. Birthparent and Adoptive parent blog on open adoption. Articles, information, and news about the open adoption experience. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:44:09 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: katieabsher http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/planning-for-november-national-adoption/comment-page-1#comment-1423 katieabsher Tue, 20 May 2008 22:41:18 +0000 http://open-adoptio.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/20/planning-for-november-national-adoption#comment-1423 Bobby Jo,<br /> <br /> I am so sorry. I am also a first mother who was lied to by the adoptive family in regards to open adoption.<br /> In my case, the adoptive mother was having an affair the entire adoption process. She left the adoptive father for the handyman who redid her kitchen just 6 months after she adopted my son.<br /> She lied to her family and never explained to them all the promises made and now I am treated like the villain for wanting what was promised, to be a part of my son's life, pictures, phone calls and everything that was promised to me.<br /> I know what you are going through. I truly believe that open adoption is just a carrot that is dangled in front of our faces to lure us to give our babies to these more affluent and connected people. If I was not promised to be a part of his live, I would have NEVER considered adoption. I have never stopped missing my baby or grieving over this. But take heart, God sees all and knows all and He will help you.<br /> All the lies that the adopters told will come back on them. The sad part is our children are going to suffer for this horrendous selfishness, but truly these people don't care as long as they feel warm and fuzzy and they are living their little happy fantasy.<br /> I hope and pray that both of our children will find our loving arms one day. You and I are their mothers.<br /> Those are our children.<br /> No paper can take away what God has ordained.<br /> I pray you can make it through this, I need those prayers, too. So does his brothers and sisters, it is hurting so many people for the benefit of a selfish few.<br /> <br /> Take care,<br /> Kate Absher Bobby Jo,

I am so sorry. I am also a first mother who was lied to by the adoptive family in regards to open adoption.
In my case, the adoptive mother was having an affair the entire adoption process. She left the adoptive father for the handyman who redid her kitchen just 6 months after she adopted my son.
She lied to her family and never explained to them all the promises made and now I am treated like the villain for wanting what was promised, to be a part of my son’s life, pictures, phone calls and everything that was promised to me.
I know what you are going through. I truly believe that open adoption is just a carrot that is dangled in front of our faces to lure us to give our babies to these more affluent and connected people. If I was not promised to be a part of his live, I would have NEVER considered adoption. I have never stopped missing my baby or grieving over this. But take heart, God sees all and knows all and He will help you.
All the lies that the adopters told will come back on them. The sad part is our children are going to suffer for this horrendous selfishness, but truly these people don’t care as long as they feel warm and fuzzy and they are living their little happy fantasy.
I hope and pray that both of our children will find our loving arms one day. You and I are their mothers.
Those are our children.
No paper can take away what God has ordained.
I pray you can make it through this, I need those prayers, too. So does his brothers and sisters, it is hurting so many people for the benefit of a selfish few.

Take care,
Kate Absher

]]> By: Deb Donatti http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/planning-for-november-national-adoption/comment-page-1#comment-1422 Deb Donatti Sun, 21 Oct 2007 04:39:38 +0000 http://open-adoptio.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/20/planning-for-november-national-adoption#comment-1422 Bobbie Jo, I am sorry that the promises made to you were not kept. You are right, that is very unethical, and wrong for the adoption agency and adoptive family to treat you that way. <br /> I also agree that adoption laws should be reformed, and adoptions done ethically.<br /> Thank you for sharing your story.<br /> Bobbie Jo, I am sorry that the promises made to you were not kept. You are right, that is very unethical, and wrong for the adoption agency and adoptive family to treat you that way.
I also agree that adoption laws should be reformed, and adoptions done ethically.
Thank you for sharing your story.

]]> By: Bobbie Jo http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/planning-for-november-national-adoption/comment-page-1#comment-1421 Bobbie Jo Sat, 20 Oct 2007 22:15:13 +0000 http://open-adoptio.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/10/20/planning-for-november-national-adoption#comment-1421 I believe it should be called National Adoption Bewareness Month because of the simple fact that the majority of agencies and attorneys, not all, are working for the adopters, protecting their rights, getting them what they truly want; and not at all considering the rights of birthparents. I was coerced into signing relinquishment papers with the promise that I would always have contact with my son. This is not the case!I was lied to by not only the agency, but the adoptive parents as well. I have begun the fight to reform adoption law here in my home state and I will not stop until the rights of birhtparents are protected. I'm not totally against adoption I believe it should be done ethically and with regards to all parties involved; especially the children. As a friend of mine would say, Ethics In Adoption Are A Must!!! I believe it should be called National Adoption Bewareness Month because of the simple fact that the majority of agencies and attorneys, not all, are working for the adopters, protecting their rights, getting them what they truly want; and not at all considering the rights of birthparents. I was coerced into signing relinquishment papers with the promise that I would always have contact with my son. This is not the case!I was lied to by not only the agency, but the adoptive parents as well.

I have begun the fight to reform adoption law here in my home state and I will not stop until the rights of birhtparents are protected. I’m not totally against adoption I believe it should be done ethically and with regards to all parties involved; especially the children. As a friend of mine would say, Ethics In Adoption Are A Must!!!

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