I am thankful for the phone calls with A. (Charlie’s adoptive mom) that I receive as part of our open adoption. We don’t have any kind of written agreement that says we should have “x” number of phone calls every “x” amount of days, we just kind of talk when we need to, want to, or feel up to it.

In the hospital, we had discussed when we would or should talk again. A. asked if it would be ok to call me the following evening and check on me and I said yes and she did. Then she called me just a few days later after Charlie’s first appointment at the pediatrician.

We talked a lot and visited a lot that first year. That’s what I needed to be healthy. If something great happened and I wanted to tell A. about it, I could just pick up the phone and call her. If Charlie did something special or had a “first” or if she had a medical question, she would just pick up the phone and call me. If I had to guess, I’d say we probably talked about every week to every other week. We didn’t always chat only about Charlie, we chatted about life, my work, adoption in society, football, baseball, etc.. The point is – we just chatted and formed and a bond and friendship that wasn’t solely based around Charlie.

The second year I needed a little space from how open we were to deal with my emotions and grief. I’d say we probably talked about once a month that second year, but of course, either of us would still pick up the phone if something important was going on.

Those phone calls allowed me to be a part of their lives with actually being there physically and to get to know A. and her family better and for that I am thankful.