In my last post, I shared the story of another birthmother, Jamie and how Jamie’s adoption agreement with her daughter’s family has gone from semi open to fully open. I learned a few things in my talk with Jamie that could be of help to other families who are currently in semi open situations but hoping to increase the agreement to something more open.

1. As always be honest with everyone involved. Birth families and adoptive parents should truthfully share why they might be hesitant towards having a more open adoption agreement. By being honest with your fears of a more open situation, you may be able to dispel some of the reasons they may be fearful.
2. Build trust. In some cases, birthmothers and adoptive parents may have the opportunity to get to know one another and develop a relationship during the pregnancy, but this is not always the case. It takes a little bit of time for both the birthparents and adoptive parents to get to know one another, develop a relationship, and learn to trust each other.
3. Do not rush into things – take it slow. This goes back to number two; you can’t build a relationship and learn to trust one another overnight. It will take a little bit of time so although it seems impossible, try to be patient.
4. Keep your promises. If you have been trusted with some personal information but asked not to share it with anyone, then abide by this.
5. Be respectful of boundaries and privacy. Fear of over stepping boundary lines could be a fear of open adoption, so be sure to honor any boundaries that you may have discussed.

It’s not impossible to go from a semi open adoption but it does take a little work on the parts of everyone involved in order to make it happen.

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Related Reading:
Opening a Closed Adoption
Opening your Adoption