Sometimes adoptions can may not start off very open but as the adults involved get to know one another better and develop a sense of trust in one another, they may begin to open up the adoption more.

This is what happened with fellow birthmother, Jamie. Jamie placed her daughter, L., in what originally started out as a semi open adoption. Jamie did choose and meet the adoptive parents of her daughter but they did not share any identifying contact with one another. Originally pictures and packages would go through the adoption agency and Jamie and her daughter’s adoptive mother would exchange emails and pictures over the internet.

The withholding of exchanging identifiable information was agreed upon by both parties. Jamie had originally bought into what others who were not educated about open adoption had told her; that seeing her daughter would be difficult on Jamie as well as confusing to her daughter. Her daughter’s adoptive family also thought that semi open would be the best as there was some concerns about safety issues if the birth father were to know too much personal information.

However, as time wore on Jamie and her daughter’s adoptive mother became more comfortable with one another. Around the time that Jamie’s daughter was six months old, Jamie asked if it would be possible for them to meet at a neutral location. L’s mom said yes and they met at a park to celebrate L’s six half a year birthday with L, her parents, and her siblings.

After that initial park date, the adoption continued to open even more. The emails have continued but identifying information was exchanged and now packages and letters are sent directly. The visits have continued as well with their most recent visit being a fun day of boating on the lake with L and family as well as Jamie and the daughter Jamie is parenting.

Thank you Jamie for sharing your story of how your adoption has progressed to a more open situation!

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