What does adoption awareness mean to me as an adoptive mom in an open adoption relationship?
I realize that awareness month tends to be directed to educating those in the general public, but I wanted to take note of what I was personally aware of this month.
So here it is. It’s not complete and I’m sure by this time next year I’ll have more to add or even change.
• I am aware that it’s every child’s birthright to be loved and raised with love. It doesn’t make a child lucky if they are loved – it only makes it tragic if they aren’t.
• I am aware that adoption may be painful for my son to process when he’s older – and that is not a reflection on my parenting nor does it mean he loves me any less.
• I am aware that open adoption isn’t as always easy for other families as it is for us. I’m aware that open adoption is sometimes portrayed in the light of a fairy tale, but it’s really adoption and open adoption relationships from family to family are very different.
• I am aware that adoption is a great way for waiting kids to find permanent families and, hopefully, create strong bonds with their adoptive parents and siblings. It isn’t, however, a magic pill that erases their memory and their bond to their first family and having a new family doesn’t mean they are miraculously healed.
• I am aware that it isn’t always easy to be a parent even though I dreamed of parenting another child again for ten years. I am aware that parenting is joyful and its hard work and can make me tired at the end of the day. Even adoptive moms are human and aren’t perfect. Though at times I suspect people in general society expect us to be.
• I am aware that I only know my feelings and experiences about adoption but can learn from others theirs. I’m aware that reading or listening to others in the adoption triad can be painful. Many times there is sadness, pain and sometimes even bitterness. I’m also aware that I can learn from them and it’ll help me be a more supportive parent for my son – and help instigate change for more ethical adoption practices and laws.
• I am aware of the love that surrounds my children and my family – that we are a family through adoption. I’m aware that our extended family has almost doubled in size through open adoption and that my son will be raised knowing all the people who love him.
• I am aware that that love never ends.
What are you aware of?
(Missed part 1? You can read it here.)
“It isn’t, however, a magic pill that erases their memory and their bond to their first family and having a new family doesn’t mean they are miraculously healed.”
Great insight!
I have learned that adoption isn’t all happiness and fulfillment-there’s a lot of pain and loss too. I have learned that I have a lot to learn about letting go and growing up. I have learned that there are a lot of people that support me and want to love me through this grief. I have learned how to be parent again–how to not take my daughters for granted. And I have learned that I have more strength and faith than I ever realised.