The month of October was an interesting one here full of highs and lows both emotionally and apparently blog wise. Things started off strong, but as our family reached some new levels of trust in our open adoption relationships here (like one child’s first overnight visit with birthfamily!), not hearing any responses on the blog, has made me wonder if my readers have taken their leave of me. I sure hope not!

Before I review what else I have blogged about during the month, I want to take the time to remind readers if there is something specifically that you would like to read about, or see in a blog, Please drop me a line. I would love to hear from you! I want to not only speak to my own experience with open adoption, but address issues and concerns that you as readers may have.

For me this October flew by in a blur of activities on the home front. I started off talking about our switch to a new therapist for our little RAD-ish five year old. We were coming off a rough time with her in September, but were gearing up for something better with some fresh reinforcements.

Thinking about upcoming visits with the birthfamilies of our children, while reading here at the blogs about other birthfamily struggles with grief and regrets sparked a post. Reading about loss had me thinking and blogging about how the emotional intensity of an open adoption might also impact birthparents, and bring about other, unforseen loss.

Of course I was often aggravated during the month, about the many voices out there who are hell bent to bring an end to adoption of any kind, I even gave the condition a name. I also made mention of the Ethics conference that went on this month, mainly because there were so many entities who speak out daily against adoption in the world, who were so very excited to be presenting their lop-sided philosophy there. I still stand firm in my belief that while we need to reform, reform, reform, we also need to concurrently find homes for children whose only possibility in life might be adoption.

There were several posts about anticipation of birthfamily visits in our home this month. Getting things prepared in advance is always a stressful time for me, but I do enjoy the eventual visits with everyone. We were lucky to be able to have visits with two of the children’s birthfamilies, including one (first ever) overnight visit for one of the girls. We also did see our other child’s birthfamily briefly, but because this was such a busy month for us, I never found the time to blog about it at all.

During the month I also talked about some interesting ideas that others in open adoptions were trying out. While the same things do not work for everyone, I always find it interesting to see what others are up to in the world of open adoption. I also had several posts about the interesting things that my own family has experienced, as in the crazy things kids say, and sometimes do that are totally beyond our comprehension as moms and dads.

Some of the other things that I was thinking about in October were, plans to be made in the event of my husband and my passing, and how our children's adoptions would be challenged by that. I also found myself wondering aloud about what my importance should be, or already is, concerning those siblings of my children who we see but that are being raised in their biological families. There were also many other reflections of my own importance as a mother, my infertility, and the intrinsic and eternal value of my children to the world. Whew! With all that “deep thinking” it is no wonder I needed some me time to download!

Lest I forget, I also spoke of the upcoming National Adoption Awareness month ( although some felt it should be Adoption Bewareness month, but I digress) and I provided several links to some interesting ways to encourage interest in adoption for the many children who will need to transition to another family. I also spoke about a lovely book by Sherrie Eldridge, author/adoptee, that can be seen in its entirety online, and I will be reading aloud at my local library on November 17th, in honor of National Adoption Day. In case you missed it, I made mention that I will be hosting a giveaway in November as part of my blog, and to promote awareness of the need for adoption for so many of the worlds foster children, orphans, and those whose parents of origin chose an adoption plan for their children. Please stay tuned because details about the giveaway will soon follow!

Photo: © 2007 Deb Donatti