Ok,
one of the stories going around the web for the last week or so, is concerning a Minnesota couple who has decided to use what the articles term as “billboards” to get the word out that they are interested in adopting a baby.
Tom and Claire Halverson, after waiting for over three years to locate a newborn available for adoption, decided to post 3feet by 4feet homemade signs ( billboards?) along the route they travel to the craft fairs where they peddle their beautiful artwork. Some have recently questioned how ethical such an approach might be. In his own comment on the situation, Adam Pertman of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, shared his concerns about how ethics might come into play.
"Forming a family, whether biological or through adoption, is a private, personal act.”
Well he is right about that one. Some families however, in their private, personal decision making process, decide that telling as many people as possible they want to adopt is “ok” with them. I know our family certainly did. Does this make it unethical though? I think the telling people you want to adopt part is not unethical (depending on how the sign is worded), but the handling of the resulting responses from expectant mothers does need to be addressed in an ethical way.
Pertman said he's never heard of a family using billboards to advertise they want to adopt, and couldn't find any news story that has featured it before.
"It's apparently unprecedented.”
Well, not so unprecedented, just perhaps not always in the news. I know when we were seeking to adopt a second child,
we had a huge magnet on the side of our van that shared that info with the world (ours a mere 12 inches by 24 inches though). Our family saw the sign (billboard?) with the same intent as the Halversons apparently do, simply as a way to reach as many people as possible with the news that they want to adopt.
This is called networking. Of course there are ways to “network” unethically. A big ole sign shouting “Will buy a baby”, would come to mind, but what about “Our family is interested in adopting”? My guess is most readers of the latter sign may feel, ok, good for you. Some might think about adoption, shaded by their perspective (if they have any), and others might just know of someone who is considering adoption and might be interested in such a family. Is that not what online adoption profiles do as well?
The thing is people have a choice to read, and a choice to respond, or not. Where ethics come into play is when someone actually contacts a couple about a sign they have placed sharing their interest in adoption, and expresses an interest in placement. Ethical obligations for an adoption can still be met, they will just be the responsibility of both parties involved, and not perhaps the third party of an adoption agency, that might have matched a couple with a mother through their own advertising. I admit it is a fine line.
Well for the Halversons, the signs have already put them in touch with a mother who would like to consider them for her soon to be born baby. NOW is the time that they should work together to make sure ethics are upheld. They should put this young mother in touch with resources to help her find if parenting is possible, and counseling in an unbiased setting. They should make sure they have met the legal obligations in the event that this contact results in a placement of adoption as well. They must educate themselves, complete counseling, homestudy, and legal requirements, as well as stepping back to allow full freedom to this young woman to make her choice for her child free from any pressure and coercion. If they are able to do all these things and an adoption placement does result, then I feel they have met the responsibility for an ethical adoption, and the signs will not have changed that in any way.
Adoption Networking?
What is the perfect family?
How to Advertise for a baby...
How to Advertise for a baby...part 2
How to Advertise for a baby...part 3
Adoption Decisions: Matching with a Placing Mother