I have to admit that I have not shared the fact that I am writing this blog. with the birthfamilies of my three children yet. On this point, right now anyway, I have not been so “open.” Oh I plan to share with them eventually, I guess I am just waiting for the moment when I feel it will be best heard. I want to feel like they are just as excited about what I am doing as I am, yet afraid they may be less than.

I had thought about sharing with everyone, right away, in fact I was very excited to share what I would be doing with anyone who would listen, for a time. Quite honestly though the lack of enthusiasm that I received when I informed my own extended family sort of threw a huge, wet blanket on everything I was feeling. so I lost my momentum. I have not gone on to tell a lot of others that I had originally planned to.

Why, I wonder, did I get such a lame response from my own family? Most of them would just as soon not think about adoption at all, they have made that clear. Oh they love my kids, but to them adoption issues are complex and seem unnecessary. I suppose if they do not already understand adoption it may seem like a lot of effort to expend to take the time to do so. Not even my own husband has shown a lot of interest in adoption related information, unless I spoon feed it to him, and who (not me) has the time for doing that?

So on days like today, when I am stranded in the house (last week ice, this week 5 inches of snow) I have a lot of time to think about all this stuff no one else in my family is thinking about. Adoption. Most days I hate that it feels separated into two distinct areas in my life, those I actually experience open adoption with, and those who I end up talking about it to. But for now that’s the way it stands. I understand some others who blog. have shared that blog. with extended birth and/or adoptive family members, others may not have.

Do other people who are working so hard to be open ever feel like they are banging their heads against the proverbial wall?

Do you feel like you are somehow a fraud if you are less open about some things rather than others?

How do you begin to present new information when you are not so sure how it will be received?

Those are just a few of the things that I have been considering today while my husband shovels the drive way clear of snow (he is VERY good at that by the way).

Do I share my new adoption interest (the blog.) with my children’s birthfamilies, or is this something it is “ok” to keep separate from them for awhile?

Go ahead, ring in and tell me what has worked best for you.