Another negative aspect of open adoption has to be the fact that we (those participating in open adoptions) are swimming in uncharted waters because of the lack of education, resources, and support for all members of the adoption triad participating in open adoptions.

Many people may think that open adoption is a newer form of adoption, but it’s really not. It’s just making a come back. Until the end of the nineteenth century most adoptions were informal and open. Adoption agencies were not around, so if a young woman became unexpectedly pregnant and could not care for her baby, someone in her family (the head of the household) would make arrangements. Typically it was a family member or close friend who would adopt the child.

In the nineteenth century adoption agencies were formed and closed adoptions became the norm as people were ashamed if their daughter was the one who became pregnant. By letting an adoption agency handle the adoption, very few people ever had to find out that “secret.”

Fast forward to today’s era and people are beginning to realize again that open adoption is not such a bad thing. Granted, everyone is not there yet, but more are migrating that way realizing that in some cases open adoption can benefit the adopted child.

But this is a good thing, you are probably thinking. Well yes, I think it’s good that open adoption is making a comeback, but the negative aspect of it is that there is so little information on open adoption. There are no guide books out there telling adoptive parents and birth parents how to get along. There are only a handful of books on open adoption. Although now, more people are beginning to create websites and support networks for those in open adoptions, in the beginning of ours there was very little out there to guide us.

Thankfully in my situation, all the adults have been able to work things out and we are having a pretty successful adoption. There are a few bumps here and there, but for the most part, it’s successful. Sadly though, that’s not the case for all birthmothers.

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Other Negatives in my NaBloPoMom Series:
1. Negative: Hearing Him Call Someone Else Mom
2. Negative: Moments Missed
3. Negative: Society's View
4. Negative: Emotions and Grieving
5. Things I don’t Know
6. The What If’s


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