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A recent story about Gary Stocklaufer, a fellow Missourian, adoptive parent, and larger size person, has really upset me quite a bit. Abby at the adoptee blog first linked to the story of this Missouri foster dad, arriving in court to complete part of the process to adopt his cousin’s newborn baby, privately placed with them at birth, only to be sent home denied their adoption petition. The shocked parents had their now four month old son suddenly taken away. Why? All because according to the courts of Jackson county, Stocklaufer is to obese to adopt the infant.
The odd thing is that years earlier, Stocklaufer, who is a licenced Missouri foster parent, adopted another son, and the same judge ruled in favor of that petition. Stranger still is that this was a private placement of the second baby, who is in fact a biological son of Stocklaufer’s own cousin.
The infant in this case was also not in Missouri foster care prior to the Stocklaufer family bringing him home, and making legal preparations to adopt the child. This was a private placement, and a kinship placement. Stocklaufer is a licenced foster parent and has met the legal requirements to legally adopt one non-relative child several years prior to this placement. As far as I am aware at this time, Missouri law puts no limitations on the weight of those applying to adopt. It is a good thing too, because a good many Missourians, myself included, would not make the cut.
To me this really has all the ear marks of a court system who has begun to vastly over step it authority regarding the “best interests” of children who are NOT in it’s care at the time of adoptive placement. This bothers me because my own son’s adoption experienced similar harsh scrutiny under the same Jackson county court system. Our son’s birthmother was harshly reprimanded by the judge about her personal choice of a white adoptive couple for her African American son. Another couple that same day had been denied their finalization, because the same judge felt they were not doing enough as white parents to raise their black daughter. I suppose I can only be thankful the fact that I am too white, or too obese did not cause our own adoption petition to be rejected.
Well the hopeful good twist in this story is that the Dallas area Renaissance hospital, has offered Gary Stocklaufer a gastric bypass to help him drop the weight, on the house. The most recent article states that Stocklaufer has already traveled to Dallas after losing 60 pounds on his own, and will undergo the bypass procedure sometime in the next two weeks. He is hoping to be able to drop an additional 100 pounds after the surgery, and most importantly prove he is a fit father and see his son returned to his care.
“Just because I’m this size doesn’t make me a bad person,” he said. “Give me the opportunity to show what I can do. I want my son.”
Well there are many of us in Missouri who are wishing Gary Stocklaufer well. Hopefully his surgery will be successful, and most importantly he will have his precious son quickly returned. I know this Missourian is also hoping that bringing attention to this situation will bring more scrutiny upon the court and the current system in this state. We all want families to be safe and healthy, and we also want to see that they have a right to pursue their happiness as a legal and respected family, regardless of size or color.
“Show Me” A State Of Misery Missouri
Photo- Gary Stocklaufer and sons
I’ve been following this, too, Deb, and have been appalled by the way this has gone. I’m hoping there is some action being taken in the state to prompt a good, hard look at decisions like this. Is the court saying that foster care would be a better option for this child? Would other characteristics put people out of the parenting realm?
The dedication this family is showing is very impressive.
I hadn’t heard anything about this until now – that’s just crazy! Keep us up to date on this story Deb!
After posting this I found yet another link to yet another comment from those acting on behalf of Jackson county’s skewed court system.
USA Today Blogs
Near the end of this article you will find a disturbing comment from The baby’s court-appointed guardian who tells WDAF-TV that
WHAT?!! Concern he MAY develop… something?
Are adopting parents now to be penalized for things that COULD possibly happen to us? How does one accurately predict such things, and could the Jackson county courts please share that information? Now are diabetes and sleep apnea on the list of things Missouri will use to refuse an adoption petition? What next, hemorrhoids and planter’s warts?
To the judges of Jackson county, you might just have too much free time on your hands, but find a new hobby.
A fund has been set up to help the Stocklaufer family with legal fees. Donations can be sent to:
Gary and Cynthia Stocklaufer Fund
Commerce Bank
17601 E. Highway 24
Independence, MO 64056
I wish there was a way I could tell Gary about MediFast. It is also a good way to lose weight quickly (doctor-supervised) without the side-effects and hazards of surgery. In fact, the surgery could make him more likely to be sick than being fat MAY predispose him to diabetes and sleep apnea.
I’ve been on MediFast for 2 1/2 months, and have lost 43 pounds. I feel great, I have lots of energy, and it’s something I can stick to while I change some of my habits and thinking regarding food.
Good information mariah, I may try that myself!
I agree this man is risking his life in order to lose the weight with this sugery. He has responded to the courts demands, quickly and in a BIG (pardon the pun) way. I hope all goes smooth for his procedure and he can drop the pounds without jepordizing his health.
What more does the STATE (big brother?) expect from a devoted parent?
Give the man his son back already!
So, if he gets a DEFINITE illness from trying to avoid a POSSIBLE illness, will that then also be used against him?
My mom had breast cancer. Kidney cancer too, although it is unusual for someone to have two primary cancers. Will I be unable to adopt again becasue I MAY develop breast cancer? C’mon! Quit discriminating; quit playing God and return this child to his father and avoid even more trauma to this whole family…..
I just found an interview the couple did with Paula Zahn,
Paula Zahn Now
And it is the very SAME judge we went before with our son’s adoption!
Judge sounds like he’s on a power trip.
I didn’t know obesity can limit your adoption rights until I’ve read this. This reminds me of the free report I got from Julianne Kennedy’s site. It’s for morbidly obese people considering bariatric surgery but
its really IN-YOUR-FACE to non-obese people.
She kind of attacks them or society at large for persecuting the
obese. I’m ‘big’ so I really enjoyed it – LOL – she says all the
things I want to say but don’t have the nerve to.
Anyway, its a really good argument she makes about why modern
society is setup for obese people to fail, she gives 7 reasons
which are very strong.
I had to give my email address to get the report but I thought it
was good, its here if you want to read it:
http://www.weight-loss-surgery-secrets.com/controversial/free_wls_report.htm
I was just wondering if there was any update to this story, as a speical needs fosterparent who about 50lbs over weight.. I think this is a out rage..