Comments on: Missing My Child http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/missing-my-child Blog with information on open adoption. Includes advice, tips, concerns, and news articles about open adoption. Birthparent and Adoptive parent blog on open adoption. Articles, information, and news about the open adoption experience. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 05:10:43 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: drusher http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/missing-my-child/comment-page-1#comment-2023 drusher Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:38:26 +0000 http://open-adoptio.www.adoptionblogs.com/2009/07/27/missing-my-child#comment-2023 I was watching a television show the other day and they were interviewing a woman who had chosen adoption for her baby. She said something that really struck me about her child- "I didn't give my baby up, I made a plan for him, so that he could have the best life possible- and that plan was adoption." What a selfless and loving act. I was watching a television show the other day and they were interviewing a woman who had chosen adoption for her baby. She said something that really struck me about her child- “I didn’t give my baby up, I made a plan for him, so that he could have the best life possible- and that plan was adoption.” What a selfless and loving act.

]]> By: adoptauthor http://open.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/missing-my-child/comment-page-1#comment-2022 adoptauthor Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:39:11 +0000 http://open-adoptio.www.adoptionblogs.com/2009/07/27/missing-my-child#comment-2022 I am so sorry for your pain and thank you for your courage to share it. It i very important that expectant mothers considering adoption know and understand that open adoption is not a panacea it s often painted to be. It is not the best of the worlds; having your cake and eating it too. Nor is it shared parenting as in divorce.<br /> <br /> Many mothers in open adoption have found it more painful than expected - like keeping a wound always open - that they have stopped visiting. Others have been betrayed and have had the adopters totally shut them out only to discover that precious few states honor or enforce open adoption contact agreements - they are merely promises. Because mother relinquish ALL rights to their child and are legally note related to them, the adoptive parents have ALL the rights to parent as they chose, live where they chose and allow visits or mail as they chose.<br /> <br /> Losing a child to adoption, whether open or closed, means your heart will walk around outside of your forever. It is very painful, forever. The shame, guilt, worry and grief are always with us.<br /> <br /> I am 42 years post surrender. I never forget.<br /> <br /> Again, thank you for sharing this important topic.<br /> <br /> Mirah Riben, "The Stork Market: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry"<br /> http://AdvocatePublications.com I am so sorry for your pain and thank you for your courage to share it. It i very important that expectant mothers considering adoption know and understand that open adoption is not a panacea it s often painted to be. It is not the best of the worlds; having your cake and eating it too. Nor is it shared parenting as in divorce.

Many mothers in open adoption have found it more painful than expected – like keeping a wound always open – that they have stopped visiting. Others have been betrayed and have had the adopters totally shut them out only to discover that precious few states honor or enforce open adoption contact agreements – they are merely promises. Because mother relinquish ALL rights to their child and are legally note related to them, the adoptive parents have ALL the rights to parent as they chose, live where they chose and allow visits or mail as they chose.

Losing a child to adoption, whether open or closed, means your heart will walk around outside of your forever. It is very painful, forever. The shame, guilt, worry and grief are always with us.

I am 42 years post surrender. I never forget.

Again, thank you for sharing this important topic.

Mirah Riben, “The Stork Market: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry”
http://AdvocatePublications.com

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