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Thanks to my handy dandy Google News alerts I came across a published letter written by some adoptive parents who’s child is now a grown adult. 
This letter from adoptive parents was featured in a recent “Ask Amy” column which is similar to “Dear Abby.” It was so sweet and heartfelt; I knew I must share it.
Dear Amy:
This is an open letter to all birth mothers who relinquish babies for adoption — especially “Been There, Done That,” who wrote to you about her own experience.
Forty years ago, in April 1966, one of you gave us your baby boy. We paid your hospital bills and have been reaping the benefits ever since.
Now we are proud grandparents of seven grandchildren –and they are definitely grand.Your baby son, now the proud father of these grandchildren, has done an excellent job of being a father, a husband and a son. He is devoted to his family and has raised children who are respectful, educated, appreciative and loving in their turn.
Thank you, birth mother, for being wise enough at a young age to allow us to raise your baby. We have enjoyed every minute of it. You may have had concerns about giving up your child. You may have punished yourself or been punished by others for making such a decision. We have cherished him and wish you the best. He is a wonderful man.
Signed,
An Adoptive Family
It’s clear in the letter just by their written words how much love and respect they have for their child’s birthmother. I know not all adoptions are so happy and loving, but thought we could all use another warm fuzzy post to go along with the warm fuzzies of being thankful and Thanksgiving may bring about. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and enjoy the long week end for those who don’t have to work!
I read the hospital part differently – an acknowledgement of what they received completely outweighed what they put in. I guess it’s a difference of perspective…
Actually, the letter makes me nauseated.
We paid your hospital bills and have been reaping the benefits ever since.
While I’m sure this may have been said tongue in cheek and with a grand attempt at humor, it makes me think of some woman who should be grateful that her bills were paid as her child was ripped from her.
This was the baby scoop era, still. Most likely, as he mentioned later in the letter, this decision was made for her.
Then again, at least she doesn’t have hospital bills! She should be grateful!
Sigh.
I took that as kind of an attempt at humor or tryig to make the letter “cute” but I see your point.
I’m SO glad you said that Jenna! I have difficulty stomaching letters like that too. And I did not find the mention of the hospital bill amusing in the least!
And the part about, you may have…..like all the birth mother’s pain was worth it because the adoptive parents enjoyed the experience? Ick!
Lastly, if the aparents loved and respected the birth parents, they would include them in the life of the child, not just write a gushy letter. Sorry, Coley!
No problem Jan! You are entitled to your opinon!
Question though – was there any possible way to include them in their life in that era? Even if the adoptive family wanted to, was it possible?
Geez, I just thought they were saying how grateful they were.
How dare they.
i personally liked the letter, but then again i dont have the type of adoption that was common for that time. i think they are just trying to be like the rest of do gooders of society and reasure that the birthmother tried to do the right thing. jmo.
That is a sweet letter. I would love to get a letter like that from my daughter’s adoptive parents.