There is a very interesting series of articles on open adoption in the LA Times this week. I found these articles very fascinating and interesting. Open adoption was portrayed in a very real light; the negative was shared as well as the positive. In addition to the articles themselves, there are various links to PDF files that are different letters written over the years. There are also some enlightening statistics included throughout the articles. These articles are very extensive and while I will paraphrase and share some with you here, I urge you to take the time to read the actual articles in their entirety.

In the articles we are introduced to a young woman named Kendall who is now 23 years old. Kendall is her birth name and her adoptive parents changed it to Miranda when they adopted her days after her birth in 1983 but she is called Kendall more in the article than she is called Miranda and we later learn that she chose this name change on her own at 7 years old. She insisted on being called Kendall and at first a compromise was made and she was Miranda-Kendall but eventually just became Kendall.

Kendall is called a “pioneer in an experiment called open adoption.” In the early 80’s open adoptions were unheard of. When Kendall was 3 ½ years old, her adoptive parents, Dorrie and David McArthur received a birth announcement that Kendall’s birthmother, Pattie, had given birth to a little girl. The announcement was forwarded to the McArthur’s from their adoption attorney. That same day, Dorrie who is a psychologist, mentioned the announcement to Sharon Roszia, an adoption expert from Orange County, California. Sharon mentioned the possibility of an open adoption to Dorrie.

The mother in Dorrie wanted to run away from the idea of an open adoption. But the psychologist in Dorrie knew that open adoption could provide Kendall with many answers. After discussing it with her husband, they decided they would welcome Patti into Kendall’s life, with just one understanding: The adoption was final; only the McArthur’s would raise her.

The articles go on to tell about the beginning of their open adoption and Kendall’s behavior during it; her constant need to test her adoptive parents. Kendall’s birthmother drops out of her life for several years and first hand, Kendall shares the disruption that it caused in her life. Kendall’s birthmother re-enters her life and Kendall maintains contact with her going to visit her birth family over the years.

The articles chronicle Kendall's life through open adoption right up to present day where we learn that Kendall became a mother due to an unplanned pregnancy at age twenty. Kendall consider adoption herself and knew that she would only be able to handle an open adoption, but ultimately with the love and support of both her birth and adoptive families she managed to get her life together and is now a doting and loving mother to her daughter.

I really was fascinated to read the experiences of a grown adoptee that has experienced an open adoption. This article pointed out the things that had gone wrong in their situation which others could possibly learn from.

In closing, I want to quote one of my favorite parts of the article; the part that spoke the loudest to me.

"Open adoption really helped me understand who I am — where I came from, why I am the person I am," she (Kendall) said. It had helped her know she hadn't been rejected because something was wrong with her. She could ask Patti herself over and over: Why had Patti given her up? Over and over, Patti could explain: She put Kendall up for adoption for Kendall's own good.

Knowing this did not take away a sense of loss, but because of open adoption, she felt loved by both of her families. Without open adoption, she might never have known that love.

As hard as open adoption can be some days, I think that is why we all (birthparents and adoptive parents) do it; so that our children can know the love of both families.

Check out the articles:
A Pioneer in an Experiment Called Open Adoption
Negoating the Difficulties of a Delicate Pact