Perhaps the confusion among the adoption opinions you will find is based in reality, after all everyone has their own unique view. I just have days when I find myself wondering which way to turn on some issues. I think I have figured out one basic thing though. When looking for solid advice and “how to” information to help you navigate the sometimes murky waters of adoption, it’s basically whatever you choose to believe. I have found that no matter what you latch onto, what advice you choose to follow, you will conflict with someone, at some point, there is no way around it. Sometimes you can even be at odds with yourself! Go figure, right?

So in the interest of fun, and just this little oddity that I have picked up on, I offer you the confusion that is sometimes our perspective about adoption.

How to totally confuse yourself about adoption. . .

* Honor your child’s birthmother.

* Don’t “thank” a birthmother.

* Open adoption is great!

*Open adoption, not so great.

* Adoption can be a somewhat humanitarian practice.

* Don’t adopt for humanitarian purposes.

* Celebrating Mother’s day is not so easy.

* Celebrate Mother’s Day!

* Adoption as only a last resort.

* Adoption should be considered a valid option.

* Kids respond mostly because of nature.

* Kids respond mostly because of nurture.

Oh my, I could go on and on ad nauseam! You say tomato, I say tomato, it’s really all in your perspective. By the way every one of those post has valid reasons for someone, and I am in no way saying that one is better than another. It is perhaps interesting how we point/counterpoint so much as a community though.

While I am sure no one intends adoption issues to become confusing, it is easy to see how they often can be. In our quest to cover things so carefully do we find that we have covered them completely in confusion? No, I do not think it is that extreme. Adoption is so much emotion, and so much requiring logical reaction, that what we in fact seem to be doing is putting our emotion in thought and slowly edging toward each other somewhere in the middle with logic It is a process, but one that I hope the adoption community will keep working on. We are all working toward ending the confusion.