Recently my hubby J and I were discussing Charlie, his adoption, different adoption scenarios, and the role that birthparents can or can not play in particular adoption situations.

J is not Charlie’s birthfather. There has never been any involvement on Charlie’s birthfathers part and I don’t foresee that changing in the near future. J was there for me during my pregnancy, the decision making process where I had to choose parenting or adoption, and then once I decided on adoption, he supported me through the adoption process. Had I chosen to parent, he would likely be parenting Charlie with me just as he does with Noah.

He was in the operating room when I had my c-section and when Charlie was born. He carried Charlie to the baby nursery. He was near by when I signed the relinquishment papers. He drove me home when I left the hospital and in those early days, he was the one who held me as cried myself to sleep at night. He goes to most of our visits with me. He is comfortable enough with S and A that he could pick up the phone and call them if something was up.

But he has no biological connection to Charlie. So what is his role in all of this? I was curious to know his thoughts on this, what he felt his role was, so I asked him.

Mainly my role is to support you and to be there for you when you need me. I’m not Charlie’s birth father and I can not replace what that missing piece might could eventually bring to Charlie’s life, but I can still be a part of Charlie’s life and be a positive male role model in his life. I do love Charlie. He’s a part of you and I love you and anything that is a part of you I love too.

So his main role in our situation is doing what he does best – being supportive