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Open Adoption Blog

09/20/08

Getting Through your Child’s Birthday

Posted by : Coley S. in Open Adoption Blog at 12:21 am , 355 words, 413 views  
Categories: Birthdays
In my last post, I talked about Charlie’s upcoming seventh birthday. I mentioned that birthdays are hard each and every year but the good part is that at least I know they will be hard.
Below are a few of the things that have helped me get through each birthday.


  1. Spending time with Charlie on his birthday. I know not everyone can do this though and this will be the first year that I haven’t been able to do it.



  2. Writing a birthday letter. Each year around Charlie’s birthday I write a birthday letter to him. I recap things that have happened in the past year and let him know how much I love him. I then drop the letter in a card and mail it to him. His Mom saves them for him although this year he can probably read some of it!


  3. Journaling. I usually write a journal entry on or around his birthday and write about whatever comes up emotionally at that moment relating to his birthday.


    4. SPONSOR

  4. Spending time with others as well as having a little alone time. This one is a little two fold. While I don’t want to be alone the whole day, I also need time to myself to process what I am feeling.


  5. Knowing that it is ok to be sad and cry. I have to remind myself that it really is ok for me to be sad around Charlie’s birthday. It’s also ok for me to cry. I remind myself that it is normal and it’s a part of being a birthmom.


  6. Talk with Others. I’ve learned that it’s important not to keep my feelings locked inside. If I don’t talk about them it just makes things harder on me in the long run.


This year since I will not be with Charlie on his birthday, I plan to devote some time to a special scrapbook I am working on that has pictures of Charlie and our times together in it. So, what do you do to get through your child’s birthday?

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