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In my last post, I talked about how the holidays aren’t always merry for everyone and how they can be hard for birthmothers. But I do have suggestions on ways you can cope and get through this holiday season.
You may feel like locking yourself in your house and not coming out until after the New Year, but isolating yourself totally may not be the healthiest of ideas. (Although I do realize we all need down time, so that will be covered more in the next post.) You may benefit from getting out of the house and being with others, especially those that have been supportive of you and your adoption plan.
If you see a counselor or a therapist, try scheduling an appointment near the holidays so that you can talk about the emotions and feelings that the holidays may be bringing to the surface.
If you attend a birthmother support group, try suggesting that you have a meeting before or after the holidays. If that’s not possible, try connecting with a few of the other women on a one or one basis or invite a few to go meet for coffee or cocktails and be a support system for each other through out the holidays.
Spend time with people who were and are supportive of your adoption plan. Let them know that the holidays can be tough for you and suggest something to get you out of the house like catching a funny movie or getting a manicure together.
If you notice yourself becoming more depressed and down, it may be time to seek help. Do not hesitate to seek out the help and advice of a professional if things become to much for you to handle on your own.
If you don’t have an outlet for face to face contact with other birthmothers in your area, you can get online and check out the birthmother forums. Although, it’s not the same as face to face contact, I still find it helpful.
Others are there for you, you just have to reach out and let them know you need them.
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Related Posts:
Coping with Grief
Grieving
Adoption.com has a great message board, but I love the one for birth mothers that is linked to on the Birthmombuds website. I have made a lot of great friends there and I get a lot of support. I often feel like going to my room and shutting the door, but when I get down about Brittany, I can talk to my hubby, chat with my birthmom friends, talk to my sister, and my friend Linda also.