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In the last few posts, I have been discussing ways to get through the holidays since Christmas is a tough time of year for many birthmothers. I’ve discussed things you can do with others and the importance of one on one time with yourself. In this post, we will discuss ways to honor your child in his or her absence from your family’s holidays. Depending on how much your family knows about your adoption and how supportive they are of it, you may wish to include them in some of these ideas, although you can certainly do them on your own too.
The ornament tradition of buying an ornament for your child is a great way to honor your child. Even if you don’t give it to your child you could still buy (or make) an ornament that reminds you of your child for your own tree.
One birthmother, K, hangs a stocking for your child with her other children’s stockings and then writes her placed child a letter each Christmas. Once the holidays are over, the stocking is returned (with the letter still in it) in the boxes with her other Christmas decorations. One day when her child is older, she will give her that stocking full of letters. Even if you didn’t want to display the stocking for all to see, you could still write a letter and put it in a stocking.
Another birthmother, R, has a special candle holder that has her son’s name and birth date engraved on it. On Christmas Eve (and his birthday and Mother’s Day) she takes out the candle and the candle holder, lights the candle, and says a special prayer for her child. Some years, she writes the prayer out as well and then saves that too.
Perhaps you could do something as simple as just say a prayer for your child before you eat your Christmas dinner.
Do you do anything special to honor your child during the holidays?
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Related Posts:
Christmas Isn’t Always Merry for Everyone
Getting through the Holidays with Other People
Getting through the Holidays: Down Time
I do not do much on Christmas to honor her. I know I should. I love the stocking idea and I know it is not too late to start it even though she will be 14 next month. I think the candle idea is nice also.