In honor of the coming holiday (and in light of recent negative studies and related grumblin) I wanted to comment on some positive, loving things that can come out of the open adoption experience.

People always have things to say about the difficulties that adoption brings with it. It can become way to easy to get bogged down and forget what we who are involved in an open adoption are working so to hard to make happen.

It’s about the kids, loving them and respecting each other.

If I had to sit down with someone who was having a “down adoption day” and give them ideas about finding ways to feel the love in this most complex of human relationships the following would be my top five.

5) Find and feel the pride (and love) about your place in your story. Even if it carries pain (like many aspects do) take the time to focus on the personal positives, in your adoption. It will not erase the difficulties, but it may fill your heart with peace for a moment.

4) Reach out to someone who understands. Whether it be a support group, a friend, someone who has had a similar experience, or just another member in your own adoption story. Connecting reminds you that there can be a lot of love and understanding waiting for you when you need it.

3) Plan something fun to honor your life and your open adoption. Plan a get together with members of your adoptive story. Write a poem, do a related scrapbook page, write a special blog entry, donate in honor of someone connected to your story. Make a tangible effort to say that this is important and deserves special recognition.

2) Share something special. If you feel something wonderful about someone involved in your adoption story, reach out and share it with them. So often in the hassles of day to day life we forget to take the time and let people know how we truly value them. Sharing something positive you feel about someone in your adoption can make you feel closer and gives them a real boast as well!

1) Remember that FAMILY comes in many forms and so does LOVE. No matter who you are in your open adoption story, remember you are family to each other. Remember you have a part to play that no one else can, you have true value and love to share!

When it seems sometimes like the whole world can have a skewed and negative view of adoption, lets remember how it can look at times from the inside. Taking the time to focus on the good things can remind us of the love we have for those involved.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

*Smack* :)