For most children, walking is a pretty big milestone. Many parents marvel as their child takes their first few wobbly steps. For birthparents, it’s a milestone that we miss.

Charlie began walking around thirteen months old. I remember A telling me over the phone that he had begun taking some steps and holding onto things while walking. It really didn’t faze me much. When I saw him walking, it was kind of surreal to me. It wasn’t one of the bittersweet milestones like some of his other milestones were. I journaled about Charlie’s other milestones, but didn’t when he walked. I didn’t really grieve missing that as I did with some of the other milestones, but I never really figured out why I was nonchalant about Charlie’s walking until recently.

After eleven years, Noah has started walking a lot. He’s walked before in what is called a gait trainer, this elaborate device that provides him with maximum assistance while walking, but he has never been able to walk far or for very long. In fact, last year doctors and therapists suggested we give up on him walking, but just in November, he began walking in a regular old walker. We’ve even gotten one for him to walk around in at home. It’s been amazing and scary all at the same time. (Scary because I always think he is going to fall!)

It’s brought back memories though. It’s reminded me of what I missed with Charlie. I didn’t realize how amazing walking is, how precious and special it is to watch a child taking his or her first steps, to continue being wobbly and falling down, then to finally master walking, and move on to fun things like running, hopping, skipping, and jumping.

I think the nonchalant attitude I had when Charlie began walking was because I had no comparison. When Charlie was reaching all those first milestones, I’d compare them to Noah’s and know what I was missing, but with walking there was no comparison until now.

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